‘I am involved in mankind’. The phrase is peculiarly literal for the pre-eminent metaphysical poet John Donne and I love him for it as much as for the accompanying metaphor ‘no man is an island’ in Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions. Both speak a universal truth, that we’re not alone, even when we feel pushed (or have freely wandered) to the edges or find ourselves unsure in which direction and manner to reach out.

Help is a kaleidoscope of infinite variances. It can manifest as the smallest and most mundane gesture, be it a one-off act or repeated assistance. It may surface as a prolonged attitude of care, of checking in and touching base at such regular intervals as to feel like a warming constant and make the hand of friendship or kinship feel palpable even at the distance of many miles.

Its delivery can be a hurried intervention, a natural impulse to come to the aid of our fellows when urgent circumstances present themselves. Its character may rather be a state of readiness to stand together in crisis with those who would as willingly stand with you. A life lived knowing who those supporters are (and open to unexpected or surprising additions) is one fortified at both the periphery and the core.

Accepting help frees the soul to ask for it, in seeking it realise it’s worth and ultimately occupy a state of existence where a willingness to offer it to others becomes second nature. It’s less a case of strength and weakness, of give and take, even of ebb and flow, as taking a turn to cause a vibration that prompts a reaction from elsewhere on the web we all spin our threads upon.

While there is charity in the giving of alms and value in a practical service rendered, in its purest form help is a case of emancipating. Offering tools. Asking the right questions. Facilitating opportunities. Acting as a back stop. Allowing the recipient to regroup and continue on, unimpeded by dependence, and resume their place as ‘part of the main’.

With thanks to David Whyte for his inspiring short essay Help from Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words